As lovers go
by WildeCard
Summary: A collection of shorts related to camteen/cadley. Warnings for character death or references there of, and mild lesbain content  obviously . Moved from my other account here. Read and review please.
1. Remy Hadley

A collection of snippets revolving around "Camteen/Cadley" from both women's perspectives. Not all are romantic, and some only feature one of the two.

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything or anyone.**

**R is for Red**

Cameron has always been a loving person, a selfless person. She married a dying man and risked her life for a colleague who would never take her seriously. Even her new job as the head of the ER was a result of supporting her other colleague. Not that she minds of course, Chase is what her mother would call a "nice boy."

No, Cameron has never been a cruel or selfish person, which is why she finds herself so shocked by the merciless torment she inflicts upon her replacement.

Maybe it's the chance to momentarily shatter the other woman's cool confidence, or simply that Thirteen reminds her a little too much of the other blue eyed, broken hearted genius she fell in love with.

Those who notice, and House _always_ notices, think that the ER doctor is simply jealous, and let's face it, there's plenty to be jealous about when looking at Thirteen.

But Cameron knows it's the shy aversion of her usually confident gaze and the sprinkling of red that colours Remy Hadley's cheeks with every touch that has her addicted.

**E is for Ego**

Doctors are egotistical. They save lives, on some level they have a right to be. Cameron is the only exception to this rule, whilst House is the absolute proof.

Maybe that's what Cameron finds so undeniably sexy about her, that cool, almost House like arrogance that never quite seems out of place.

So when she whispers "you'll love this" in that husky voice of hers, sounding so certain, so sensual, that Cameron starts to melt inside long before agile fingers start to prove their owner right.

Because, despite what people say, ego is sexy. Cameron and Cuddy know this well.

**M is for Magic**

You've never believed in magic, in all honesty you're just not that sort of person. Anyway, your Mother dying while you were still so young put a stop to any foolish thoughts of magic and fairytales you may otherwise have clung to.

Your introduction into the world of science only served to further your belief in the logical, the rational, opening up a gaping chasm between you and things only Kutner could ever believe in.

However, when Allison presses soft kisses against your throat, her arms wrapped tightly around your waist and the soft silk of the bed sheets cocoons your bodies together your mind goes blank. Then, when her lips trail up your throat, nibbling on your ear and whispering _those_ three words, all you can believe in is magic.

**Y is for Youth **

You discover quickly, as all adolescents do, that the only thing that spreads more quickly around a school than disease is gossip. Hospitals, funnily enough, are exactly the same. Admittedly, the spread of disease within the hospital is actively combated with almost as much enthusiasm as the rumour mill is encouraged, but, whatever the reason, it takes but a few short hours for news of Thirteen's Mother to spread like wildfire.

It is for this reason that you spend the next few weeks feeling sorry for the younger doctor. You had a happy childhood, filled with smiles and laughter, and your Mother lives with your Father in a house just outside the borders of Ohio. No one should lose their Mother so young, and it makes you feel guilty that yours is still alive.

It is for this reason that Thirteen corners you in the changing rooms after work, her dark eyes boring into you as she angrily declares that she doesn't want your pity. That you don't understand her death sentence.

You never quite figured out whether it was the way her whole body seemed to soften as she walked away, or the broken whisper of "No one ever sees _me_" that she obviously didn't intend for you to hear. What you do know is that this is the exact moment that you realised that, at 25, Remy Hadley is also too young to be dying.

**H is for Hope **

You had a lot to hope for as a child. Most of those hopes (and fears) centred around your Mother and, like the deadly genetic sequence itself, those hopes were the same ones you held for yourself when she died. Most of them anyway.

In contrast, Cameron never hoped for much as a child. You initially expressed your doubts about this, but realised quickly that Allison never _needed_ to wish for anything. She was a pretty little girl who lived in a pretty little house and got pretty little things. She didn't need hope, she had certainty.

It was only with her first husband's impending death that Cameron too learned to hope for the impossible. You have that in common.

**A is for Audacity **

There are a lot of things people find attractive about Thirteen, from her eyes to her figure, no one would deny that she was an incredibly attractive woman. In fact, the only point of debate within this long accepted fact was _which _aspect of Dr Hadley was _most_ alluring. Her eyes were dark and mysterious, yet playful, with a hint of sadness, her cheekbones were perfectly sculpted, and the slow, sensual smile that graced her lips was sinfully delicious.

But for Cameron is was the sheer _audacity _of the woman, pushing her older counterpart back against the wall of the on call room and kissing her with such hungry passion that the blonde doctor's surprise and anger melted into fuel for the desire raging throughout her body.

"Who do you think you are" she had hissed breathlessly.

Glittering eyes accompanied Thirteen's smirk.

"They call me Thirteen" the younger doctor had offered lazily as she sauntered out the door.

**D is for Death **

When you were a child you thought death was like a shadow, purely because that was how it was always described.

But shadows require the presence of light, and your Mother's death brought anything but light to your home. You used to stare at the sun, your eyes squinting against the light as you waited for the shadows and tried to block the screaming from your mind.

There hasn't been a lot of sun in Princeton recently, and while your heart tells you that love can conquer all, your mind begins to wonder what Allison will stare at when she's wishing you away.

**L is for Lightening **

If you had to pick something that represented her, you'd pick lightening, although you have to admit "Thirteen" certainly hits the mark, it's so... (unlucky, unusual, strong) intangible. Not that you'd recommend touching lightening of course, you're not even sure is you could. And that, in part, is the reason. At least that's what you think.

Lightening is bright, and brilliant and beautiful; it produces such a contrast against the dullness of its surroundings.

You never hear lightening coming either (this makes you smirk, despite the seriousness of your reflection) it's always the thunder, that other accompanying force, that loudly announces their arrival, yet it is the lightening which holds your attention.

You're sure, if you did touch the lightening (casting away your fears for pure recklessness, just once) that the feeling would be so intense, so brilliant, that the greyness of the day, the childish whine of the wind and the demanding crack of thunder would just fade into the background. And, when your fingertips extend to brush her lips, the feeling is electric.

**E is for eyes**

With Cameron's first husband, it was his nose. Admittedly it wasn't a particularly sexy feature, but she found the way it crinkled as he laughed simply adorable. It gave him a look of such childish innocence, even as the life drained out of his eyes.

With Joe it was his arms, strong, secure and protective. His arms provided a fortress when that nose failed to crinkle at her feeble jokes.

House had (has, she guesses) nice hands. Large and masculine, with a dexterity and lightness of touch she'd never have expected from him. She always felt pathetically girlish about it, but the rugged masculinity of those hands sent heat pooling to her stomach, and gave way to more than one daydream, the details of which Cameron swore never to tell.

It was Chase's lips that got her; they always seemed so soft, almost feminine, pretty words and gentle kisses from a pretty mouth. When the words turned sour and his pretty mouth pressed into a thin, white line, Cameron could never quite look at him in the same way.

With Remy, it's her eyes. Cameron could (did) spend hours deliberating over the colour, the shape and the length of her lashes. Not that Cameron has any objection to her lips, (or her hands for that matter) but her kisses wouldn't mean half as much if she couldn't pull away to see those mischievous blue eyes laughing down at her.

**Y is for Yeaning**

It started off as a vague hum against your skin, a sort of tingle that spread from somewhere deep inside until it reverberated across your entire body like the ripples on a pond. Then it was a pulse, confined to your chest this time and tugging at your heart until you force yourself out of the room, your back pressed against the door as you wait for your heartbeat to slow. You would later compare it to the feeling of approaching an orgasm, that same strenuous ache and all consuming desperation that tells you something amazing is about to devour you body and soul, that makes you yearn so intensely for that one person. After a week of House's games you begin to wonder if everyone looks at Thirteen this way.


	2. Alison Cameron

A collection of snippets revolving around "Camteen/Cadley" from both women's perspectives. Not all are romantic, and some only feature one of the two.

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything or anyone**

**A is for Angels**

She's beautiful, you think as you stare, your lips slightly parted and your cheeks flushed, at the Angel across the room. Her golden hair and sapphire eyes glow as the evening sun come streaming in through the window, she looks just like the angels on the stained glass windows in your Mother's church. You haven't attended church in years, and you've long since stopped believing in God. She sees you staring at her and smiles and suddenly you'd believe in anything.

**L is for Lethargic**

There is kind of laziness that only comes with the intense heat of a summer afternoon. It spreads itself in languid waves across the community, enveloping the skin of its people in a soothing warmth of spirit. It is this feeling, and not the intensity of their passion or the fear of her demise, that Cameron most associates with Thirteen.

It started one summer's afternoon, long before knowing glances and passionate kisses that taste like cinnamon and oranges, when they were little more than colleagues. The hospital, as a collective body, had been almost disconcertingly absent of patients, and the ducklings, both old and new, had resorted to lying on the soft grassy verges near the main entrance.

"It's a beautiful day," Chase announces "we should do something." His announcement had been met with a lengthy silence, but, eventually, it was Thirteen who replied.

"The beauty of the day lies in the fact that we don't _have_ to do anything." She had breathed, her voice soft and her body radiating infectious lethargy. Cameron had settled down into the grass next to her, revelling in the tranquillity of her presence. Chase was rainstorms, but Remy is summer afternoons.

**L is for Lovers**

It is House, of course, who realises first. The only surprise to either of them is that it is in Cameron that the notices the difference, not in Thirteen.

"You smell like her," he had leered "you use her shower gel, her perfume, you wear her clothes and" he grins, reaching a delicate finger under her shirt to reveal the crimson lace of her bra strap "you even wear her underwear. So, Cameron, is it as much fun putting it on as taking it off?"

To this day neither woman is sure what House was expecting when he said that, but Allison's soft purr of "You have no idea" as she grazed her lips along her lover's throat was better than he could have ever dreamed of.

**I is for Insanity**

Sometimes, late at night, I wonder if it was all an illusion. When House, and Cuddy, and Taub and Foreman and everyone else that knew and loved her (though not as much as I did) have gone I find myself prowling about my house, her house, our house, for signs, an old T-shirt, a CD, or simply a lingering scent or photograph that will verify her existence. I need something to prove that my mind isn't playing tricks on me, that my lover, dead and six feet under, wasn't something that I imagined. Every trace of her is fading now, the belongings have been tidied away, the fragile scents are replaced by coffee in the mornings and two months worth of cooking and cleaning. Even the love bites, so bold and vibrant against my pale skin, have long since faded away, and I need something, anything, to prove to myself that my sanity isn't as fractured as my heart.

**S is for Stolen**

Chase was beyond livid the day House, dancing from foot to foot in eager anticipation, had told him about Thirteen and Cameron. Sure, he and Allison had been officially divorced for a little over 6 months now, but really, who did the brunette think she was kidding? It wasn't that he was jealous, everyone knew Allison still loved him, it was simply that Remy Hadley wasn't anywhere near good enough for Cameron. The woman was cold, selfish, drug addicted and promiscuous. And, if that weren't enough, she was as good as dead anyway, all he had to do was wait it out.

But, his anger flares for an entirely different reason as, in a secluded corner, he sees Allison, his Allison, push his co-worker against the wall, their lips sealed together. It is then that Chase disregards all previous sources of hatred for the younger brunette in favour of only one fact. Against all odds, Remy Hadley has managed to steal a treasure that was never his to keep.

**O is for Omnipresent**

On her day off from the hospital Allison Cameron wakes up at thirteen minutes past one in the afternoon to the sound of an empty home. Her therapist warned her there would be days like these, but Cameron has yet to take a break from the sensual assault and the constant reappearance of that fucking number.

The bus that takes her to work is the 113, and every number plate, phone number and Id card has thirteen plastered all over it. Her scent still lingers in the halls, in their bed, and in the empty corners of the hospital. House's barbs hold a touch of sadness, and his last lesbian joke had resulted in a swift backhand from a red eyed Foreman. Even their apartment is number thirteen; it had been a joke at the time.

It's hard to distract yourself when, in mind, body and number, the spirit of your lover is omnipresent.

**N is for No (more)**

Gregory house, in his infinite knowledge, has only ever heard Allison Cameron say no five times during the entire length of her relationship with Remy Hadley. The first came shortly after their first kiss, and was not directed at Thirteen but at Robert Chase as he begged her to stay.

The second and third were some months later when Remy was suffering from a rather severe bout of Flu. This time they were both directed at her, first in response to her feeble attempt to clamber out of bed, and then in assurance that she wasn't going to leave her.

The fourth, and by far the least convincing, was when Remy had sneaked up behind her, pressing her front against Allison's back and her lips against her neck as she asked if Allison could possibly leave her paperwork until later. Cameron's answer had been shaky and unconvincing, and Thirteen had led her away anyway, her smile a mixture of triumph and mystery as she passed House on her way into the on call room. It is this "no" that House remembers most fondly.

It almost breaks his heart that Remy never got to hear the fifth "no", a breathy scream that burst from the blonde's lips as her lover's heart monitor flat lined. Then again, he muses, maybe it was for the best. After all, there's no sense in breaking two hearts.

**C is for Catastrophe**

Life never cuts you a break, it's a fact, much like the fact that your eyes are blue or your hair is brown (usually). The funny thing about all of these factors is that they are all a result of your DNA, thousands of tiny little strands that compose, what Allison describes as, the most beautifully tragic catastrophe to ever walk the Earth. Allison alone is almost enough to make you retract your previous statement. Almost. After all, you're still dying.

**A is for ****Abaction **

Abaction. At the end of the day it didn't actually mean anything. Well, not anything useful anyway, although Remy had reliably informed you that it is, in fact a noun referring to the act of stealing large quantities of Cattle. You never quite figured out why she saw fit to inform you of this, and in all honesty you're not too sure she knew either, and so it simply became one of those funny words you say in awkward silences. You never thought you would actually use it contextually.

Then, approximately seven months after her death, while helping House's team treat a young Texan man, Chase and Foreman return from his apartment cheerfully informing you that the patient is a runner for a notorious Texan cattle rustling gang. You simply fall apart, your hysterical laughter only convincing your colleagues that you've finally cracked. You manage to choke out "abaction" before descending into further hysterics. It doesn't matter that no one else is laughing, that it means nothing to anyone but you, because Remy can't laugh anymore, so you'll laugh hard enough for the both of you. She always said these things would be useful someday.

**M is for Marriage**

Allison Cameron has been married twice in thirty years. Her Grandmother would be appalled. Admittedly not as appalled as she would be had she lived to see her granddaughter dating another woman, but pretty appalled none the less.

But the extent of her Grandmother's disdain is irrelevant, partly because the woman's long dead, but mainly because Allison is happier in Remy's arms than in those of either of her previous spouses. She's had enough of marriage anyway, she thinks, which is fine, because Remy wouldn't marry her anyway. She says it's because she doesn't want Allison to develop a habit, "Your first husband was dying on the outside, House was dying on the inside" she had half teased.

"And Chase?" Allison had responded. Remy had simply grinned at her.

Chase was the fairytale prince, and the fairytale prince never dies. But Allison has never been one for fairytales, or big, grand weddings. She does, however, believe in love, and maybe, in her Grandmother's eternal gaze, that might redeem her a little bit.

**E is for Enchantment**

She's stunning; really, she's just so incredibly beautiful that, if you swung that way, you'd jump her in an instant. People have, if you listen to the rumour mill that is. But the fact of the matter is you don't swing that way, you never have either in spite of what House's lewd comments may imply, and so Remy Hadley isn't sexy, or hot, or, as a teenager in the ER so eloquently put it, "Fit as absolute fuck man!" she's just incredibly beautiful. If Chase is the handsome Prince, and you are the beautiful Princess, then she is your fairy, your saving grace, the enchantress. Only when it is too late do you realise that she has enchanted you too.

**R is for Roses**

Allison bought you roses for the first fifteen fights; or rather she bought them following these fights. They were beautiful, not as beautiful as her, but certainly something to look at. The petals were a brilliant crimson, and as soft as silk to your trembling fingertips. They were the obvious choice too, roses do mean love after all, and the fact that she loves you has never been subject to doubt. It was because of this that you never had the heart to tell her you preferred Orchids.

**O is for orchid**

I've never really liked Orchids. Oh, they're beautiful, almost as beautiful as her in fact, but they always seemed so, well, funereal, so laden with death. Ironic really, given my current location.

The Orchids lying on her coffin are particularly stunning, a mixture of snow white petals and fiery orange blooms that almost tease a smile from my quivering lips; it took her two years to tell me she preferred Orchids. It doesn't matter how I feel about them, the flowers aren't for me anyway. An old lady at the back whispers that orange shouldn't be in a funeral which is funny, because neither should Remy.

**N is for Nocturnal**

You were practically nocturnal for the first twelve months of your relationship, surviving solely on mid day power naps and the urgency of her kisses when you both got home. She's your addiction, of that you're convinced, and you've spent all hours of the night revelling in her touch, her smell, the sight of her face and body, and the feel of her lips, well, everywhere. It's interfering with your work though, and that's a problem. Cuddy thinks you're ill, the nurses think you're crazy and you think (fear, maybe?) that House knows the truth. Not that the truth isn't obvious, not if Remy's acting anything like you. You confided your fears in Remy and she laughed, cupping your face in her hands and whispering that she'd give up every day she had left for a night with you. When she kissed you, her lips tasted lips cinnamon and sunshine.


	3. Cadley

**C is for Compromise**

Cameron has always been good at compromising when the situation calls for it. However, the difference between catching the compromise in an awkward situation, and being caught awkwardly in a compromising situation was taught to her by Remy. And House. In all honesty Allison isn't sure what she remembers most vividly about that moment, the burning pressure of Remy's hand between her thighs, the look of euphoria on House's face, or simply her lover's hot whisper that relationships are all about compromise.

**A is for Alienate**

It has become a game of sorts among the staff of PPTH to find areas of common ground between Drs House and Hadley. The list starts with simple things, such as the fact that their surnames both start with the same letter, or, if you believe in the age old rumour mill, both Doctors have had less than reputable thoughts about the Dean of Medicine. There are less entertaining ones too, such as the fact that, really, they're both dying, and the fact that they alienate people.

But Allison doesn't care about letters or death, she blatantly ignores her younger counterpart's attempts to push her away and, okay, maybe she's a little jealous of Cuddy, but that's the only rumour she'll let bother her, honestly.

But, while Cuddy, is distanced with the rest of the world Allison, eventually, was pulled closer, making them aliens together. Anyway, the love bites left on the younger Doctor's neck is proof that she's hers.

**D Is for Doodle**

It had started as a drunken joke late one evening as the two doctors sat in Allison's living room watching the credits for Titanic roll across the screen. The rapid flow of tequila had turned the coversation to talk of former lovers, and emboldened by the liquor in her stomach and the warm intensity of Remy's gaze, Cameron had lowered her bottle, sprawled herself semi-elegantly across the sofa and whispered in her best mock-seductive voice

"Draw me like one of your French girls".

So Remy did. Sort of. They had both been fully clothed at the time, and her first attempt at sketching the woman before her, on the tablecloth with the remnants of an old eyeliner she found in her purse, resulted in more of and awkwardly positioned stick doodle than an accurate imitation of Jack's portrait of Rose.

The morning after, and for the weeks to come, Cameron keeps the doodle. It is something of a joke between them. A mockery of a doomed and tragic romance between two very different people.

Then the incident in the shower room had occurred.

It was late on Thursday night several weeks after the Titanic incident when Thirteen stumbles into the shower blocks, stripping the vomit covered clothes from her torso as she walks. In retrospect the bloody scrubs already strewn across the floor should have warned her the one stall that wasn't currently out of order was already occupied, but it didn't, and so she slide back the curtain and...

_Naked... very naked... Cameron... Oh god..._

Cameron had yelped and reached for the curtain and Thirteen, stood only in her underwear, had been too shocked to do anything other than stand there with her mouth hanging open.

Embarrassment had prevented them from speaking for several days following that until one afternoon when Cameron had opened her locker to find a detailed sketch of her standing naked under the gentle spray of the hospital showers.

"Prettier than any of my French girls" the message underneath had read, and Cameron couldn't help the pleased flush that coloured her cheeks.

**L Is for Lonely (no more)**

It's in the middle of the ER when Remy first feels it. After twelve dates, eighteen coffees, countless lunches and nine of what House has lovingly dubbed "adult sleepovers" Thirteen stands in the middle of the crowded ER, surrounded by bloody, broken fragments of car crash victims, and she misses her.

It's Allison's day off of course, she told her so this morning, so there's no reason for the ache nibbling away at her chest every time a flicker of blonde hair catches her eye.

She'd thought it had become habit, the feeling of isolation that consumed her when that thin little print out from the lab had read Positive. But after twelve dates, eighteen coffees, countless lunches and nine nights spent wrapped in Allie's arms, Thirteen is no longer used to feeling lonely.

**E Is for Evidence**

It became a ritual long before she even realised she was doing it, and it was another item on the list of habits she's broken way before she realised she didn't care anymore. As with all things it was House who made both observations.

It was a Thursday morning when Cameron first realised House had been right. Standing in front of Remy's bedroom mirror and meticulously checking the image reflected in the dimly lit surface she found herself unable to deny that from the purple of the love bite at her throat to the swell of her lips and her dilated pupils, she was trying to remove all evidence of the younger doctor from her skin.

Oddly enough, it is also a Thursday morning when, halfway through the hospital doors, that Cameron realises she's wearing Remy's shirt. That afternoon she kisses her lover firmly on the mouth before sitting impossibly close to her at the table she is sharing with Kutner, Taub and Foreman. None of the table's other occupants bat an eyelash, after all, it's a long time since Cameron stopped hiding evidence of her and thirteen.

**Y is for You**

How do you measure love? How do you define something so instinctive, so intangible? How do you quantify the very essence of a soul as though it were something as worthless as pints of blood, pounds of flesh, the units of pigment that colour your skin, your hair, the grey-green depths of your eyes. How could I ever, in a million lifetimes, begin to measure all the things that solidify themselves in you. How could this methodological medical mind of mine even begin to process something so instinctive and raw.

The answer is simple. It's in the breaths you take away from me when you glance my way. It's in the heartbeats that merge into one long tremor with every smile that breaks across your face.

Most of all it's in the whispers

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

that radiate across my skin and warm my entire being right to the core, even in the days when I can no longer reach out to feel your warmth beneath sheets.


End file.
